


Dad Jokes

by LadyAbernathyWordsmith



Series: The Uchiha Chronicles [5]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Children, Fluff, One Big Happy Family, One Shot, Original Character(s), Papasuke, Post-Canon, Twins, quadruplets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-19
Updated: 2016-10-19
Packaged: 2018-08-23 10:51:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8324968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyAbernathyWordsmith/pseuds/LadyAbernathyWordsmith
Summary: Sarada's friends don't often come around, and Sasuke finds out he's the reason why. With a bit of help, and a joke book, he's ready to accept his most daunting mission yet!! Stop being a detriment to his daughter's social life!!//Can be read independantly//





	

The first time it happened, Sarada was 12.

Sasuke was sitting at home, wearing his new prosthetic arm and reading the newspaper when his daughter came home with Inojin and Shikadai.

He remembered that day quite vividly. "Papa, have you seen my spare knife holster? Mine gave out." His daughter called into the house from the front door. They'd been living in a smaller home then, with only the three Uchiha's there wasn't much need for expanding yet. 

"You left it in the storage closet with the rest." He called in return, flipping the page.

"I'll be back in a second, you guys just stay here for a bit." She'd said to her cohorts, passing by the living room where Sasuke was sat on her way to the closet.

As soon as she was gone, he could feel two little sets of eyes on him. He glanced up from his paper, and saw both the blonde and brown haired spawn of InoShikaCho peeking in. When Sasuke glanced at them, both slipped back behind the wall. 

"You realize you're not unwelcome in my house, right?" He called, indifferent to the boys as they hid.

It took a moment for them to answer. "We know, sir." Said Inojin, sounding nervous despite himself.

Shikadai continued. "We just have to be going back ASAP, no point in getting comfy." 

Sir? Sasuke breathed a soft sound, half a chuckle. "So long as you know that." 

Later that night, as Sasuke cooked dinner for his heavily pregnant wife and his beloved daughter, she told him what had transpired after they'd left again. 

Shikadai and Inojin were scared of him. Sasuke, at first, had been amused by it. Cowardly boys...

It, however, wasn't so amusing when he overheard his daughter talking to Chocho on the phone.

He was standing outside her door, waiting for her to finish so he could ask her to bring her laundry downstairs. "Chocho! My place is closer, it's be quicker if we slept over here...I know he isn't exactly fuzzy, but-..." SHe sighed deeply after a moment. "Fine, okay. You win. But you owe me for this." She hung up, and Sasuke coughed to get her attention. "Oh, need something Papa?"

"Could you take your dirty clothes downstairs?"

"Sure thing, in a second." Sarada said, plugging in her phone before getting off her bed.

"What was that about anyways?" He asked as she went to grab her basket. "Does Chocho have a problem with staying here?"

Yep," Said Sarada as she hefted her basket over a shoulder. "You."

"Me?" Asked Sasuke, eyebrow raised. 

"You scare her. Most of my friends are."

That gave him pause. One or two was funny, but all? 

He started to wonder. He _had_ noticed that Sarada didn't bring many friends home, especially after he'd heard Naruto and Sai complaining about _their_  kids' friends coming to their houses only to eat all their food and make a mess before leaving. He'd figured maybe she took more after him in that department, staying in her own lane more or less than going out and making dozen's of friends like Sakura and Naruto had.

But, no. Sarada had lots of friends, he discovered at her thirteenth birthday party. All of the rookie 9 of her year, and a few others older and younger than her. Had all those kids avoided coming to their house because of Sasuke?

He didn't want to ruin her social life...It was good she had a lot of friends, they could support her and assure her, things he wish he had at her age.

With a bit of advice from Naruto, who was a bit more sagely in these social matters, he decided to do something about it. He'd be less scary for his daughter's benefit!

So he went out and picked up a joke book.

Okay, maybe it wasn't moving the earth and stars for her, but it was what he could manage and it was a start. 

A little while after that, Mitsuki swung by to deliver something to Sarada, who wasn't out of the shower yet. He'd sat down not far from Sasuke, who was reading his newly acquired joke-book (with the front and back covers hidden) and asked what he was reading.

Sasuke idly flipped the page, and sounding as serious as possible, answered. "A Brief History of Glue."

"Glue...?" Mitsuki asked, sweatdropping. He'd been expecting something cultured, or maybe a technique book or something other than glue.

"I can't seem to put it down." The blue haired boy just looked at him oddly, not sure if it was a joke or if he was sincerely invested in the history of adhesive.

A few days later, Sakura encouraged him to get a hair cut, as it was getting a bit too long and the shower drain was having to be cleaned out almost weekly. 

And, it was perfect timing as well. That night Sarada came home with Bolt that evening, asking if he could stay for dinner so they could train together afterwards. Of course, he stayed.

As he set out the food, his daughter and Bolt sat. "Papa, did you get your hair cut?" She asked curiously as he sat with Sakura.

"No," he answered. "I got them all cut."

It got Sakura laughing at least, though Sarada just made a face and didn't comment. (Bolt snorted a little, and that made Sasuke feel oddly accomplished.)

The next time, he was with Kakashi and Gai, discussing the up-coming ceremony where Kakashi would award the new-made chunin with their flak jackets, when Metal came bounding up to his green spandex-ed idol and saying he'd finished his laps and asked for more.

"Hey, Gai." Said Sasuke as the older man finished congratulating his not-grandson. "Why did the scarecrow get an award?"

His old teacher looked at him with his slate grey eyes while the bowl-cut jonin paused, thinking before answering. "Why?"

"Because he was out-standing in his field."

Gai burst out into laughter, always a fan of a good corny joke, while Metal snickered under his breath, a hand over his mouth, Kakashi chuckling while facepalming. God, what had his star-pupil become?

It kept going after that, so much that Sasuke had forgotten how many times. When he saw one of Sarada's friends, he'd just make some small little joke memorized from the book.

Getting flowers for the graves with Sakura at the Yamanaka Flower shop, with Inojin at the register? "Sasuke-kun, you're out of shaving cream, remind me to grab more on our way back. You're getting a bit scruffy there." 

Sasuke rubbed a hand on his chin, feeling the little hairs there and humming slightly. "You know, I never did like facial hair. But it's started to grow on me."

Sakura snorted and slightly smacked him, while Inojin at the register coughed into his water bottle a little. 

Another time, Sasuke had just been leaving, telling Sarada he was going to go run some errands and get some stuff for dinner. "If you need anything, tell me now."

She'd been in the living room with Shikadai and Mitsuki, playing a video game. "I'm winning right now! I'll call you later!"

"Don't call me later, call me Papa!"

"Paaapaaa!" She groaned aloud, long tired of his dumb jokes. But he also heard the boys start giggling like ninnies, so he was satisfied.

Though, his personal favorite, when Chocho came over so she and Sarada could sharpen their knives and make the chore a little less boring.

He'd been passing by her room when he heard it. "Hey, you've got anything to eat?"

Sasuke and Sarada made eye contact through the open door, and he smirked as her eyes widened. "Chocho, don't-"

"I'm hungry." The Akimichi girl finished.

"Nice to meet you, Hungry," He made himself known and the dark-skinned girl turned, surprised by his presence as Sarada instantly groaned, head hitting her small table and making knifes clatter. "I'm Papa." He finished, and Chocho sputtered slightly, more amused by this scary-looking legend making a bad joke than by the joke itself. 

When he delivered the girls a plate of cookies and glasses of iced tea a little while later, he could feel Sarada's affectionate annoyance.

Sarada knew what he was doing, of course. He was being rather transparent about the whole thing, joke books on the coffee table with sticky notes stuck between the pages and internet searches like 'how to be less scary' wasn't exactly being subtle.

So, when Shiro, Shizu and Shina were born, the first thing Sarada had to say to them was; "I'm so sorry I started his lame Dad joke phase."


End file.
